


All I Want for Christmas is Drowley

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-10 17:06:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8925286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: Collection of the fics I wrote for All I Want for Christmas is Drowley on Tumblr.  Fics will be tagged individually in the notes.





	1. Day 1: Decorating the Tree

**Author's Note:**

> Normally, I'd wait for the end of the week to post these, but because of glitches with the Tumblr submission process I ended up not being anonymous. So I figure, may as well post them here as I go, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley takes Dean to Hell to decorate the Christmas tree.
> 
> Warnings: Hell's ornaments, not exactly GRAPHIC violence but the aftermath of violence, angel abuse (but it's Zachariah, so does anyone really object?)

Dean refused to believe it when Crowley came to get him. “You’ve pulled a lot of crap, but this? No.”

“I mean it, Squirrel. It’s a tradition. Thought you might like to help.” Crowley put his hands in the pockets of his coat. “Of course, it’s not exactly like it is up here, the decorations are slightly… different.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet. Can’t imagine you put an angel on top.”

Crowley smirked. “Oh, I do. Which is why we’re not inviting the Moose. He’d get all self-righteous about it.”

Dean couldn’t help the morbid curiosity. “All right. Fine. I’ve got to see this. Let’s go decorate Hell’s Christmas tree. Give me a second to text Sam that I’m going out.”

“What are you going to tell him?”

Dean shrugged. “Enough of the truth. You needed my help with something and didn’t want to bother Sam. He wouldn’t believe me if I told him the full truth.”

“Fair enough.” Crowley snapped his fingers, and Dean found himself staring at the most beautiful tree he’d ever seen. Crowley pointed to a box of ornaments. “Don’t worry about any kind of pattern or anything, and be careful handling them. Some of them are rather sharp.”

Dean opened the box and looked inside. “Wow. You weren’t kidding.” Icicles made of broken glass, Christmas balls that were broken with jagged edges, crystal snowflakes sharpened to points… the ornaments were definitely dangerous. He very carefully picked up a reindeer, and chuckled when he saw its throat had been slit. “Prancer here get too close to a snowflake?”

“Quite likely.” Crowley picked up the barbed wire tinsel and started wrapping it around the tree.

When the ornaments were up, Dean had to admire the dedication. Everything about Christmas had been twisted. “Did Alastair design this?”

“No. Made some improvements.” Crowley picked up a small box and handed it to Dean. “Would you care to put the angel on?”

“Now I’m scared to find out.” Dean opened the box and laughed. It looked exactly like Zachariah, if Alastair had ever needed information from him. “Did you choose him just for me, or did you hate his ass too?”

“Just for you, darling. We pick a different angel every year. Zachariah’s a favorite, though. I hated him. So smug and petulant.” Crowley flipped him around to show him the best part.

Dean tried to control the snickering as he rammed Zachariah onto the tree ass-first.


	2. Day 2: Christmas Party (Bonus for Ugly Sweaters)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and ugly Christmas sweater tradition.

Sam didn’t believe it when Dean told him that he’d invited Crowley and Rowena for their Christmas party. He was still wrapping his head around the idea that Dean and Crowley were actually together, not just using each other in a mutually beneficial strange bedfellows partnership, for one thing. What he found really difficult to believe, though… “You did tell him everyone’s wearing ugly Christmas sweaters, didn’t you?”

“I told him. He said he’s looking forward to it.” Dean shrugged. “Please tell me you and Cas will at least behave civilly?”

“Me and Cas, yes. No promises on Jody considering he nearly killed her that one time, and I don’t think there’s anything in this universe that could keep Charlie from fangirling on him.”

Sam had a point there.

 

Thanks to a hunt that ran long, Sam and Dean managed to be late to their own Christmas party. Crowley was waiting for them outside. “There you two are. Did you forget?”

Sam slammed the Impala door behind him. “No, Dean here thinks it’s a two-day drive from Oregon, but he broke his arm and couldn’t drive, so I had to the whole time which meant a lot more stopping to rest, and I told Dean we should call someone to finish the hunt for us or cancel the party or at least call Cas and tell him we’d be late, but no.” He stormed into the Bunker, managing to slam that door, too.

“Ignore him, he gets bitchy when he doesn’t get his beauty sleep. I could have driven but he wouldn’t let me.” Dean sighed and looked at Crowley. His sweater was ridiculous – a red and white zigzag stripe with prancing reindeer on the white and holly on the red. “Wow. Way to come through on the ugly sweater. That has to be the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Crowley smirked. “Oh, stop. You’ll make me blush. Now, if you wouldn’t mind going inside and powering down the wards so I can come in? Your brother’s pet bird refused.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I got…”

“Never mind. Looks like your brother came through.” Crowley took Dean’s good arm and led him inside.


	3. Day 3: Christmas Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets cursed. Sam calls Crowley when Cas can't help. Crowley enjoys himself as he figures out how to end it.
> 
> Tags: background proto-Sastiel, curses, Crowley being smug,

It had been a surprise to get a phone call from Sam asking him to come to the Bunker. Surprise or not, though, Crowley was long past pretending to himself that he wouldn’t drop everything and go if the Winchesters needed him. Not that he’d admit that, of course. “I’m here, Moose. What’s more important than listening to the demon reports?”

“You hate listening to demon reports.” Sam stopped pacing. “Thanks for coming, Crowley. Something’s wrong with Dean, and Cas can’t help.”

Well, that explained why Sam had been desperate enough to call Crowley. “What’s happened to Squirrel? Where is he?”

“Locked in the dungeon so he can’t hurt anyone, including himself. He’s…” Sam trailed off and shook his head. “He got a little sick on the last hunt we went on, which was strange enough in itself. Dean doesn’t get sick. When we got back here, though, he started going crazy. Screaming, jumping at shadows, lashing out. Every time I think I’ve got a handle on his behavior, it changes. He even stabbed me and called me the devil. That’s when I called Cas.”

“I take it he fixed you up.”

“Yeah. He was able to knock Dean out, but it didn’t last long. Couple minutes tops and Dean was back on his feet.” Sam jerked his head and started toward the dungeon. “We don’t even know what’s causing any of this. I mean, Dean going crazy, fine, that’s probably gonna happen one day. But this isn’t any kind of normal crazy.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.” It didn’t sound like any kind of curse Crowley was familiar with, either. As much as he hated the idea, he might have to call his mother on this one.

Sam unlocked the dungeon. “Here’s the keys to the chains, if you think he’s safe to let out. I’m gonna wait outside. Rather not get stabbed again today.”

Crowley raised an eyebrow, but took the key. He stepped into the dungeon. “My, my, Squirrel. I hear you’ve gone nuts.”

“I’m fine.” Dean looked at the door, which Crowley had left cracked open. “Is Sammy out there? He knows I didn’t mean to stab him?”

“But you did mean to call him the devil?”

“I did that? Wow.” Dean shook his head. “I’ve got no idea what’s going on. I only remember bits and pieces of the last few days. But I’m fine, now. Maybe the curse ran its course and that’s why Cas couldn’t find anything wrong?”

“Maybe.” Crowley smirked at him. “Got to say. I’m kind of enjoying seeing you in chains, especially knowing your brother put you there.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure you do. Are you gonna let me out?”

“Not yet, squirrel. Not until I’m convinced whatever’s making you act crazy is gone.” Crowley went back out of the room. Sam confirmed that once Dean had started acting up, there hadn’t been lucid moments. Whatever had happened now, it was a breakthrough. Crowley popped out to gather up some spell components.

When he came back, Sam looked very relieved. The relief was quickly replaced with suspicion. “What did you do to him?”

“Wasn’t me, Moose. Why?”

“The second you left, he started shouting again. Now he’s fine. Again. Once I could accept as coincidence, but twice?”

Crowley raised an eyebrow. Interesting. “What exactly were you hunting?”

“We thought it was a witch, turned out to be a pagan god. Not a Trickster exactly, but similar.”

“And let me guess, Squirrel ate something in the god’s house.”

“There was a bowl of Christmas candy? What’s that… you think the candy did something to him?”

“Most likely. The good news: I could cure it if I wanted. Think I’d prefer to make Dean do it, though.”

Sam grabbed his coat and slammed him against the wall. “Fix him.”

Crowley just sighed. “I’m not going to leave him like this. He’s no use to me if I have to leash him to my side to keep him from either going crazy or getting sick. Now get off me so I can go poke at your brother until he cures himself.”

Sam let him go, but didn’t take his skeptical glare off Crowley until Crowley closed the dungeon door behind him. “Your brother has some issues, doesn’t he?”

“Uh, yeah. He’s a Winchester. We all do.” Dean’s glare was no less doubtful than Sam’s. “What’s going on here? Sounds like you know.”

“Of course I do.” Crowley grabbed the free chair and pulled it up to the table to sit across from Dean. “You’ve got a secret that needs to come out.”

“I’ve got a lot of secrets. Care to be more specific?”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “You’ve already worked out that it’s something to do with me. So what are you holding back?”

“I don’t actually mean it when I threaten to kill you.” Crowley just stared. “Okay, fine, you knew that.”

“If you meant to kill me, you’d have done it. Same here. If I wanted you and Moose dead, you’d be dead in a way that stuck.”

“I actually… kind of like having you around.” Crowley waited. “Okay! Fine. I wish you were around more. Aside from Sam and Cas, you’re probably my best friend.” Crowley waited again, hiding his nerves. Dean sighed. “I kind of love you?”

“Good to hear.” Crowley got up and sauntered around the table to unlock Dean’s chains. “Now how do we get your brother to overcome this Winchester stubborn and talk to Cas so we can double date?”


	4. Day 4: Baby It's Cold Outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean makes an unkind remark about Juliet. Crowley gets revenge.
> 
> Notes: Hell, cold, demons, Crowley loves his puppy

Where do you even find a cold spot in Hell? The only one Dean knew of was the cage, and that was only cold because that’s where Lucifer was. Yet here he was, freezing his nuts off in Hell. Apparently, mocking the hellhound reindeer costume your boyfriend was so proud of was a bad idea, when your boyfriend is the King of Hell.

“Come on, Crowley. This isn’t funny. I’m sorry I made fun of Juliet, okay?”

At least most of the demons knew better than to mess with him. He could see the demons swirling not too far away, hear the screams of the souls that were still trapped in their humanity, but they never approached him. Any time one got too close, another grabbed it and pulled it away.

If Dean had any idea which way it was to the throne room, he’d start walking that way. He could probably ask a demon, but he didn’t want to risk them learning that he was in the doghouse with Crowley.

He’d already tried praying to Cas. Nothing. Either Cas couldn’t come for some reason, or he wasn’t coming because he didn’t want to get involved in Dean’s fight with Crowley. Dean wasn’t sure which one was better.

A couple hours passed, and Dean was shivering now. He was just about desperate enough to catch a passing demon and get directions when Crowley popped up. “Baby, it’s cold outside. What are you doing out here?”

“Very funny, asshat.” Dean glared at him. “Can’t believe you left me out here so long. And don’t call me baby.”

“Why not? You’ve never objected to pet names before, darling.” Crowley wrapped Dean up in a hug, and Dean hated himself for cuddling in. Crowley was just too warm not to, no matter how pissed Dean was.

“Darling, sweetheart, those are fine. Don’t call me baby.”

“Whatever you say. Shall we go somewhere warmer?”

“Please.”

The next thing Dean knew, he was in a nice warm bed with a fire going in the room’s fireplace. “You should probably stay here a while to thaw out,” Crowley said. “Want me to stay with you?”

“Yeah, of course.” Crowley got into the bed and curled up against Dean.


	5. Day 5: Christmas Movies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley comes over to watch Christmas movies with Dean.

“Why do you want to watch Christmas movies? You’re the King of Hell. Christmas is kind of the opposite of what you want.” Dean flopped on the bed, already searching NetFlix for whatever Christmas movies they had this year, but he kept shooting puzzled glances at Crowley.

Crowley barely took his eyes off the scotch he was pouring. “Do you have any idea how many people sell their souls this time of year? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t what anyone meant to do, but Black Friday through New Year’s is a busy time for the crossroads demons. No different from any other retailers.” He came to sit on the bed and handed one of the glasses to Dean.

Dean took the glass. “You’re shitting me.”

“Please, just keep my uncle from ruining the family dinner. My boss just fired me, can you change his mind so I don’t lose my job? Can you arrange for me to win the lottery so I can afford presents for my kids? Grandma’s dying, can you keep her alive through December?” Crowley shrugged and laid down beside Dean. “Apparently, it’s a stressful time for people.”

“Huh.” Dean almost started It’s a Wonderful Life, but changed his mind. He couldn’t bring himself to watch it with Crowley when it reminded him so much of Meg. Instead, he settled on Home Alone. Should at least be worth a laugh or two.

“Why have that many kids if you can’t be bothered to keep track of them?” Crowley complained when they discovered Kevin was missing. “I thought they’d left the little brat behind on purpose. I would’ve.”

“Yeah, well, you and your son never really got along, did you? Doesn’t matter how much you love your kids, sometimes you just lose track of them, especially when you’re stressed. It took Sammy three weeks to forgive us for leaving without him this one time when he was ten. I thought he was asleep in the back seat, that’s where he was supposed to be and the way some blankets were piled it looked like he was, but he’d snuck out to go say goodbye to a friend and hadn’t made it back yet.” Dean’s stomach clenched at the memory of how he’d failed Sammy. “Dad wouldn’t turn around – we had a hunt to get to, and Sam was old enough to fend for himself for a night. We went back to get him the next day.”

“And Moose forgave you for that?”

“It’s Sam. It’s more surprising it took him three weeks.”

“True enough. Little sickening that way.”

They continued watching the movie. About the time Marv got hit in the face, Crowley finally started laughing. “I take it back. That kid’s no brat, he’s a demon. Shame he’s not real, he’d be a great addition to Hell.”


	6. Day 6: Mistletoe.  Lots of it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley throws a party with enchanted mistletoe.
> 
> Tags: background Sastiel, background Dodio

Nobody throws a party like the King of Hell. His mansion, finally rebuilt after the Apocalypse, was all decked out with festive Christmas decorations. He’d enchanted the mistletoe himself. It had a job to do tonight. Several, really, but most of those were just mischief.

For example, he had some mistletoe following Castiel around and getting over his head any time a demon happened to be looking. Wasn’t his fault the weirdo angel liked kissing demons, he was just trying to help his ally. Seeing how much it annoyed the Moose was a bonus he hadn’t expected.

Another bit of mistletoe was hovering around Rowena. His mother always did like a good solstice orgy, so why not? Rowena was downright beaming at the attention she was getting.

Jody had actually come up to him after the fourth time she and Donna had been caught under mistletoe. He’d freely admitted to the prank. Called it their Christmas present. He winked and reminded her than there were several rooms upstairs they were welcome to use if they wanted to get away from the mistletoe. She’d slapped him, but as he looked around, he smirked when he realized he hadn’t seen either of them for over an hour.

The best one, though, and the whole point, was how the mistletoe was literally fleeing Dean. Dean had noticed that the mistletoe avoided him, naturally, but he hadn’t caught on to the second part. Every time, the mistletoe headed for Crowley.

Crowley made a mental note to make sure Susie got rewarded when Sam finally got fed up enough to break up Castiel’s latest kiss and drag the angel upstairs.

Ah, and here came Dean. “Why?”

Crowley faked innocence. “Why what? Your brother and Cas? I had no idea.”

“My… what?” Dean looked over to the stairs where Sam and Cas were just disappearing around a corner. “Huh. Finally. Anyway. Not the point.”

“Then what is?”

“The mistletoe, you douche. Why’s it running from me?”

“Maybe it’s trying to tell you something. Looked up lately?”

Dean looked up, and his mouth fell open. He dropped his glare back to Crowley. “Very funny. Why?”

“Maybe I just miss my bestie. Didn’t you know that?”

“There have to be easier ways to try to get someone to kiss you than spelled mistletoe.”

“Probably. But this one was fun. Is it working?”

Dean rolled his eyes and kissed Crowley. “You could’ve just asked, you know.”

“Nah. Too easy.”


	7. Day 7: First Christmas Together

When Dean was three, Christmas was a magical wonderland. There was snow. There were presents. Songs and good smells and bright lights all around him, and some of the best food he’d ever had.

When Dean was four, Christmas sucked. That was when he really understood that this was his life now and there was no going back.

When Dean was seven, he tried. He couldn’t do much to make things magical for Sammy, but he did everything he could think of. It wasn’t nearly enough.

When Dean was twelve, Christmas was just a day. Dad didn’t make it home, so Dean tried to lie to Sam, but Sam wasn’t having it. Sam had Dad’s journal. He knew everything now. Sam gave him the protective charm Bobby had given him for Dad, and Dean loved it. He was never going to take that thing off.

When Dean was twenty-eight, he was staring down his last Christmas. Sam went along with things, letting Dean have his Christmas celebration. It was crappy, just like all those early ones. It was perfect, because it was with Sam.

When Dean was thirty-seven (ish?), he got Christmas crazy again. He blamed it on the fact that he was alive and happy, Sam was alive and happy (even had a boyfriend), the world wasn’t ending and neither he nor Sam were under a death sentence or so pissed at the other they couldn’t be around each other. That hadn’t happened for at least ten years.

Besides, he had a boyfriend this year too.

 

Christmas was seen as a horrible English holiday in Scotland in the 1600s. Rowena had always celebrated the solstice, naturally, but Christmas was never a thing for Fergus MacLeod. It was even less a thing for Crowley, the crossroads demon. As the King of Hell, he’d noticed it, but never really cared.

That changed the year Dean asked him to come over for Christmas. Getting an invitation to the Bunker was still rare, even though they’d been dating for several months. Dean usually met him somewhere else, because Sam and Castiel were more comfortable that way.

The Bunker was decorated, there was a giant meal, and Sam and Cas were actually very welcoming. Crowley had never believed much in miracles he didn’t create himself, but he considered that one.

Now Cas had taken Sam off for some sort of field trip and Dean and Crowley had the Bunker to themselves. “Thanks for coming. And for being so well-behaved. I know you love torturing those two.”

“They behaved so I did. Wouldn’t want to ruin Christmas, not if I want to be invited back next year.”

Dean snorted. “You mean not if you wanted to get laid tonight.”

“Oh please, darling. You could never hold a rage at me long enough to resist when I turn on the charm. Getting people to give up something precious is what I used to do for a living.”

“Doesn’t work on me or you’d have had a lot more control of me when I was a Knight of Hell.”

Crowley shrugged. “Depends what I’m offering in exchange.”

“If you don’t lose some of the smarm, you’re not getting laid tonight.”

“You’d never deny yourself your Christmas present.”

“Oh, I hate you.” Dean grabbed Crowley’s wrist and dragged him off to the bedroom.


End file.
